Snack Mom is Bitter

You might be wondering how the blog name came to be. Can we please be honest for a moment about the whole snack mom thing? My first question is, where are all of the snack Dads? Are men not capable of using Sign Up Genius or bringing in a plate of brownies? Do men get lost in the grocery store? Well, they might, but they do have signs above the aisles. The snack mom thing just gets me. I wish the dads could get in on the action too. Maybe there are dads sitting home at this very moment wondering when their big opportunity might arise to make kale brownies.

Another thing… there are so many rules now for the snack moms to follow. You can’t just go in the cabinet and pull out the brownie mix anymore. If you don’t sign up fast enough, you might get stuck with the “healthy treat”. How is the healthy treat even a treat? Carrots and hummus is kid party worthy now? I was very happy with Doritos and a cupcake when I was a kid. Nobody asked for gluten-free, peanut-free, fun-free snacks in the 80’s. Let’s be real, and I never witnessed one case of anaphylaxis. Disclaimer: This is not to say that I don’t feel for the allergy moms and kids. I do. I really do, but this snack mom ain’t got time for that.

Oh, and how many parties do the kids need every year? My children come home with shopping bags full of candy, and then look at the Valentine’s chocolate hearts I gave them and asked why they were so small! Don’t think I didn’t notice the super crafty homemade Valentines that came home and the Pinterest-worthy Valentine fruit wands on Instagram. The “You rock, Valentine” printable on a box of Pop Rocks. That’s extra. Just for that, your kid gets extra Walgreens-special Fun Dip packets, in blue of course.

I guess the overall theme of this post is why are we making parenting, i.e. snack-momming, so difficult these days? Can we go back to lazy parenting days of the 70’s and 80’s? Can we ask for snack dads, and homeroom dads, and PTA dads, instead of moms?

Perhaps these musings contribute to my social awkwardness, but I can only imagine that many moms share my feelings. Can’t we all agree we need to tone it down just a notch? How about we agree that we don’t need class parties every month? And the dolphin banana fruit cup thing (see home page) is soooo extra. Snack moms don’t get medals or anything.