If Snack Mom could choose anything for her birthday this year, what would it be?
Other than an MZ Wallace tote? And ALL of the Nike things? And maybe an end to human suffering?
- When Snack Mom blows out her candles tonight, she will be wishing for the Book Fairs and the Box Top Shops to just go away. Honestly, I don’t mind collecting and sending in the Box Tops. I really don’t. It’s the need to constantly fill my kids’ lives with unnecessary things that drives me bonkers. I try so hard to teach my kids that they are not entitled to gifts “just because”. If I don’t send in money for the Book Fair, it’s because we don’t need anymore god forsaken books! Please don’t loan them money. I’m taking a stand this year. NO MORE BOOKS OR PLASTIC TCHOTCHKES!!
- I will also wish for an assistant for the weekend. Snack Mom already wants a break from the duties of chauffeuring the children to all of the activities. It’s exhausting. Is it appropriate to call them an Uber?
- I wouldn’t say no to a taco bar, in the living room, so I could reach it from the couch, with a Dogfish Namaste to wash it down.
- Could a Snack Mom possibly wish to not see another Sign Up Genius for a full year? Honestly, Sign Up Genius always means extra work, especially when you are usually one of the last moms (note: not dads) to sign up. I get stuck with water bottles, or something too heavy or cumbersome, like whole watermelons or a crate of kumquats, to send in with my child, which means I must park and get out of the car and possibly interact with other humans. This is not one of Snack Mom’s favorite things.
- Three-day weekends sound nice. Two days is never enough, especially when a snack mom has multiple snack mom duties that weekend. The kale chips and quinoa cookies aren’t going to make themselves, people!
- My last wish is a big one… and a serious one. I wish for all human beings to be treated with respect and with dignity and with love. No one person is more important than any other, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, salary, education, or even how often you go to church. Do some more research on why our NFL players are taking the knee during the anthem. Read more about why refugees want to come to our country. Act like you are more outraged by children getting shot in schools and Nazis marching in our streets than you are about a darn Nike ad. Listen to people who are different than you. Show some respect for human dignity. Be the one to make a positive change. It has a trickle down effect, unlike the economy.
Well, that’s enough birthday wishes for this year. Time to grab a Namaste and shop online for ALL of the Nike things!!